Help please?

Well it has been 11 days, 12 hours, and 34 minutes since Joel's surgery started and it is time to come clean with my addictions:

- Pepsi: I am grumpy without, funny with. I am afraid this may become the substance that sustains our marriage. I am planning to start drinking caffeine-free to ween myself.

- Two Iphones: After "manning" two iphones for four days, I now look longingly at Joel's phone as he uses his.  I could get so much more done with two!

- Sleeping by myself: I only loved this for one night.  I sleep much better with him laying beside me. (blah!)

- Other people's cooking: I am not sure if people are pulling out all their "good" stuff for us, but I have gained 5 pounds because I can't get enough!!

- Blogging: I am sure you understand this if you have been reading my 36 other mindlessly idiotic postings.

- Well-rested-Joel: He is funny, fun to be with, and most of the time in a good mood.  Plus he can't drive so he is always around for my entertainment.

- Chocolate: Do you know they put all the Easter candy on clearance after Easter? Bad news!!!  Maybe another reason I have gained 5 pounds. Have you ever noticed, eating chocolate is much faster than working out?

Ok, I have come clean.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?

Now for Joel's new addictions:

- Watching weird shows on Netflix (Twin Peaks, Pushing Daisies, The Pixar Story, National Geographic special on death and when do we really die): He is watching all those shows that he has always wanted to watch but never had time.

- Napping: VERY GOOD FOR HEALING!!!

- My driving: He loves riding in the car and giving me advice. "turn here," "go that way," etc.  He is addiction, my nightmare.

- Strawberry Special K: Joel loves this cereal and Jonah and Elijah keep finishing it before he gets out of bed.  We are stopping at Costco tomorrow.  Costco always helps with quantity issues.

- Denver Nuggets Basketball: this addiction was cut short by bad post season coaching.  Sorry George Karl, it had to be said.

Please let us know if you have any advice on how to kick our "new" bad habits.

The staples have been removed!

I am not sure what I was expecting but the nurse literally used a small staple remover and within three minutes had all 26 staple extracted. Joel and I decided against the keepsake ziploc bag with little bow and had her throw the staples in the trash.  He is feeling so much better.  He was at the point that the staples were causing more pain then healing.

Tonight Joel was out on the baseball field giving Jonah verbal, not physical, tips on hitting. 10 days ago he was laying on an operating table with his brain exposed. Amazing how our bodies heal!!!

Now the pain associated with his recovery will mostly be itching as the skin heals thoroughly. Internally, he is having very little pain and is just taking pain medicine when he is sleeping.

He has about 85% of his range of motion when he moves his head from side to side. He is still getting electric shocks down his neck with any quick movements and he feels most soreness when he looks down at his toes.  All in all, his recovery has been amazing.

We think he is about a week away from driving a car since he is off the narcotics but still hasn't gained 100% of his movement.

Staple removal is tomorrow...

Joel has become increasingly more annoyed with the "extra" metal on his head and tomorrow that will hopefully end.  His lower incision has become red because of discomfort specifically from movement and how he sleeps.  The upper incision looks fine and even has new hair growing throughout.  Kind of weird but a great sign of healing.

Ironically, he is more worried about how his hair looks than the scar.  This is fortunate because in another week, he will have another hair cut (he gets them about every other month). The hair problem should be fixed by the end of the month.   The scar will be mostly covered by his hair with only about an inch showing below his hair line.  Over time, there should be very little evidence that he ever had a Chiari Malformation.   Joel was worried about his secret brain surgery being uncovered by airport security and tried to make jokes concerning being "wanded" at the airport.  He was shut down quickly by the RN who claims titanium in the head doesn't make the security machine beep.  Oh well, I guess I will just have to let everyone know Joel has a thick scull in some other fun way.  Facebook, check! Blog, check! Twitter, check! Email, check! Text, check!  I am not sure there is anyone left to tell.

So he goes tomorrow for staple removal (he refused his father's offer to remove them with his staple remover) and goes to see Dr. Oro in mid-June for a complete brain scan and post operation appointment.

Things are moving smoothly and I think Josiah's tooth finally cut through today.  By tomorrow we will be a whole new family sans staple and tooth pain.

Double standard...

Have you ever noticed the extent with which each of us live in double standards? Ok, I will keep this personal because really I notice this about myself all the time. For example, I yell at my own kids but as soon as I see some else yelling at their kids, I shake my head.  Or, I watch someone speeding down the road and I wonder, where are the police when we need them. Yet, I don't think anything of it when I am late and speeding to get my kids, get to work, or going to an appointment.

I usually try to give these up-to-no-good strangers a story so I don't let them ruin my day.  Like for the person speeding I give the story she is on her way to pick up her child who is throwing up at school.  This makes my stress level go down and the stranger gets my prayers instead of my dirty look.

In the last week, my "made-up" back stories have turned more personal in nature.  For example, this morning while driving the kids to school, I was passed by a gentleman on a motorcycle in a place there is only one lane. I was going 38mph in a 35 and 200 yards ahead of us there was a long line of rush hour traffic (the same as everyday).   I caught myself saying "what in the heck is that guy doing?!!!!"  Then I told the kids, "That man must be in a really big hurry to help fix someone's brain."  Sick, I know but it works.  I felt much better and the kids did point out he was being safe because he was wearing a helmet.

You should try it.  You can even personalize your made up back stories to your own life.

The reason I really started thinking about this is because, I have a "double standard" with sick people.  I am a very grumpy sick person.  Whether it is a headache, the flu, or food poisoning I can be wonderful to everyone and take it out on Joel.   Specifically, I bite at him with curt phrases and curl up into my own pitiful world of self loathing and pain.  When I take care of sick Joel, my attitude has always been "you don't have to be mean, just because you are sick.  Buck up, you will be fine."

So needless to say, when Joel and I found out he was going to be having brain surgery, I was worried about my bedside manner.  Knowing that this was not a "buck-up" situation, I expected Joel to expel curt phrases and moan in intense pain while I held his hand, fed him yogurt, and kept track of his medicine.

Honestly, we day 8 in post-op and he has done anything but be mean.  He has been a wonderful patient besides the day he spent nauseous and night he spent in pain.  He is even off his pain meds and is very pleasant. I have been amazed.  Even while he was still in the hospital I was checking in with the nurses in case I needed to apologize for any rude behavior and the only time I even saw him a little upset was while talking about someone leaving the light on his room after they took out the trash in the middle of the night.  He didn't even display a whole lot of frustration at the nurse who was slow to put saline solution in his IV after she had just injected something that was burning his vein.

So, what I have learned? I need to work on my behavior when I am sick.

It has been a week since surgery...

Joel has been up and around more than I would have liked today.  One of the disadvantages to working for yourself  is having a hard time leaving your business in someone else's hands even if only for a few days.  Because he wants to get back into the work mode, he also wants to stop taking his high intensity pain meds.  I have mixed feeling about this.  Obviously, having him in the most lucid state is my preference.  However, the meds also make him sleepy forcing him to rest.  He plans on starting to take Ibuprofen in the morning and I will be watching him closely, counting the hours he is sleeping.   He has hit that crucial period were he feels well enough to be up and around but he still needs to be resting.

So it is time for the great benefits of brain surgery:

1. The food is amazing!!! I am not sure I am ever going to be able to go back to my own cooking.  My sister-in-law very generously organized meal preparation for the weeks following Joel's surgery.  At first, I was going to turn it down but I am so glad I didn't.  I can't even begin to express how thankful I am or count the benefits this service has provided!!!

Plus, I now know my own cooking sucks!! No other word describes it.  The kids love everything! Most of the time they need to be bribed by dessert to eat my cooking. No wonder.  They must have learned from their friends what other families are eating and my kids are really just taking a stand against my food meritocracy.  

2. Joel's creating minimal laundry.  Two months ago on an average day he would wear racquetball clothes, work clothes, and after work clothes.  Now, he has been wearing one outfit of a t-shirt and shorts a day.

3. I get to make all the decisions.  Yes, for those who don't know me well, I am kind of a control freak. Most of the time I talk to Joel about things (or at least make him think he is making some decisions) but right now, I get to decide everything: when we eat, when the kids go to school, if they takes bathes, etc.
Sometimes this can just make things run smoother when there is only one of us deciding.

4. All of his rest, is making his sense of humor shine. He hasn't become a musical savant (he tried playing the piano Iphone app the day after surgery, and he couldn't even play chopsticks) however, he is constantly cracking jokes.  Again, our family has suggested he stay on the narcotics and try out for a stand up comedy gig.

I will let you know as we discover other brain surgery benefits!

Movie Update:

"The King's Speech:" LOVED IT!!  Now I am looking for more information about King George VI.  Trivia: Did you know Kenyon Martin of the Denver Nuggets is a board member and active spokesman of the American Institute of Stuttering.

"How Do You Know:" Deserved the rotten tomato award.  Two hours of my life I can't get back.  I am no longer allowed to choose the movies we get from redbox.

Crashed

It finally happened and I am not even saying it figuratively, we crashed.  Today was the day saved for getting things done and I took a three hour nap, Josiah slept for three and a half hours, Elijah slept for two, and Caeli slept for one and a half.   I am not sure if it was because I have had at the most 4 hours of continuous sleep in the past week or if it was because of all the chocolate we ate yesterday but either way, we were down for the count.  Yes, today was a much needed day of rest and we will be back on top tomorrow.  Watch out world...The Morin's are back.

Joel is doing really well.  We are still monitoring his vitals (eating, sleeping, pooping, pain) but overall everyday he is a little more himself.   He has even been making some business calls to check in with clients. Don't worry, I am prepared to confiscate his phone if needed.  He is starting to stress about work so I know he must be feeling better.

He has also been trying to watch what he say and does because he claimed earlier today that all his is to me is a blog posting.  Anything to motivate him to be on his best behavior.  I will let you know if he makes any slips.

Caeli asked today when Daddy was getting his staples out.  We are schedule for staple removal on Friday morning.  She started jumping up and down.  I was a little confused.  She said she was excited to wrestle and hug daddy again.  For her these next two months of recovery are going to feel like the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Obviously, I need to put my knee pads on and get down on the floor to play "daddy."  I knew that dinner, laundry, trips to school, sports practices, etc were going to be on me, but replacing "daddy" takes more than just doing things for the kids.  I need to work on "daddy" play time too.

With a little help from Josiah, Joel is eating at the kitchen table.

I apologize in advance for the gruesome nature of this post:

I used my one and a half year old's poopy diaper smell to flush Joel out of bed.  It wasn't what I was aiming for, but it worked nicely.  He decided going downstairs was much better that wallowing in the stench.  If you need to motivate someone to move (get them out of bed, off the computer, take a break from video games), I can ziploc one of these smelling wonders and ship it to you for a minimal charge. Our production is 1-2 times a day and I guarantee success!

Anyway, we are now on top of Joel's meds and he is currently whistling at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper, and eating.  He even had energy to help me fix a computer issue.  WOW!!! One of his real estate secrets is that sometimes you need to show people the "crap" in their price range in order for them to appreciate the nice properties.  Now that he understands the pain, he is appreciating the comfort!!

Below is an excerpt from a previous posting.  I decided to clip it at the last minute to get "approval" for publishing:

Movie update: "Jackass (3) is really stupid." The direct text I received from Joel on my way home.  I don't think women ever think other women in pain is funny.  The men in "Jackass" think watching other men getting hurt is hilarious.  I am not sure any of those guys are going to be able to have kids and I only watched about 30 seconds.  I hate to imagine what they were doing while I wasn't watching.  Needless to say, that is a movie banned from our collection.  Can you imagine if my 8 year old saw that stuff?  Even on pain meds, Joel wasn't laughing.  I take that as a good sign.