Strange ideas...

Recently, I drove by a home with a full basketball court in the back yard and besides drool, I wondered why anyone would need a full court.  Two hoops seemed a little excessive.  Well a few days later, I passed the same house and noticed the hoops were adjustable.  Meaning the hoop's height can be changed depending on the height and/or talent level of the players.  This is a GREAT idea.  We are currently in the "growth" stage of our family.  Each player, aka child, is of different height and ability and being able to level the playing field with two different sized hoops would make playing basketball much "easier."   Anyway, yet another reminder for me that just because something looks initial strange, doesn't meant that it wasn't a good and creative solution to a common situation.

Life at the Morin's has hit the summer time craziness that I always like to avoid and the kids aren't doing anything but playing.  Joel and I are working furiously and are using the "down" time to work with clients and get in some extra time working. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?

Joel's health is better than it has ever been and I am enjoying his new found energy level and help.  He has been doing laundry, dishes, watching the kiddos while I am at work, all while working his real estate business like never before.  It is like watching a new Joel. He has always been helpful but in the months before his surgery he did everything with pain in his eye.  Now he has more of a glimmer.  He has a brain scan and surgery follow up next Monday and I am sure that they are going to tell us what we already know: Joel is doing great!!!


 

School's Out For Summer...

Please feel free to sing the title of this post.  That is how I wrote it.

The kids have been out of school for 2 hours and my new first grader told me "I can't play now, I have homework."   She obviously didn't get the procrastination gene that I passed on to her.  Although she is starting to read and as with my older son, once she hit a point, she just wants to read EVERYTHING!!! It is really exciting.

So every summer we create a list of things we want to do.  This year, much like every year, our list is pretty much the same: zoo, children's museum, library summer reading program, grandma's house, dentist, 1/2 birthday celebrations, lots of swimming, etc.  However, this year I am going to try to implement "quiet time" every afternoon.  I have created a list of activities that they can "pull out of a hat" during that time like reading, writing letters, math flash cards, finishing school workbooks, etc.  I am hoping with our youngest still having afternoon nap time, I can keep the quiet time sacred.  It will probably last two days but at least we can try.

I am hoping this afternoon quiet time will help me get some quiet time too.  I have a huge pile of books which I would like to read and during the school year, it seems I end up passing out and/or crashing in front of the TV instead of reading.  Joel and I are going to try to turn off the TV for the entire summer except for occasional movie nights.  Another thing we are going to try which will probably last 2 days.

Speaking of easy, we were so blessed with a generous abundance of meals after Joel's surgery.  Honestly, it was so nice and now I have a much bigger repertoire of meals that my kids will eat.  But it also means, meal planning is back on the to-do list.  Why is this so hard for me?  I don't mind shopping. I don't even mind cooking.  I just hate deciding and finding good quality choices for the whole family.  It is time to stop procrastinating and start deciding.   Yet another goal for the summer that will last 2 days.

By the way, I had my last Pepsi of my life this morning too.  I  have to get caffeine and sugar out of my life.  It is weighing me down in more ways than I can count.  

Obviously, I have a very addicted and lazy lifestyle.  I am afraid summer is not the best time to change my life but there is no time like the present.  Plus the kids are around all the time now to hold me accountable.  They really do keep me honest.

Not funny...

Do you know that my husband doesn't think I am funny?  In fact, he claims that my sense of humor was not one of things that attracted him to me.  My question is "what the heck?"  I don't think I am funny but I do think I have a fairly decent sense of humor and he has yet to see it.  I am going to have to keep working at it.  Maybe I should start pulling some practical jokes.  Some of my college favorites were putting Vaseline on the toilet seat and short sheeting beds.  Somehow I think he wouldn't appreciate those things and they would seem far less funny since we share both the toilet seat and the bed.

Things are going well.  Joel is doing better and better and the hardest part is keeping him from being too active.  I have caught him playing catcher for our son's baseball team and picking up our niece (she is over 15 pounds).   I have been blown away by how much he has improved and changed in such a short time.   He quickly volunteers for "fun" jobs but I have yet to catch him vacuuming and dusting.  There must be another surgery to help with those things.  I am patient.  Doctors are amazing.  Some female/wife doc out there is bound to come up with some fix soon.

Exhausted...

Some weekends I feel relief when they end.  As this weekend comes to a close, I feel a satisfied exhaustion.  I am not going to lie, I don't think we could have fit anything more into the weekend without collapsing.  Now, I am worried that Joel might hit a recovery relapse because he was feeling so good and did so much that even in his pre-pre-surgery state, he would need a few days to recover.  Hopefully, this weekend is the post-surgery "normal" Joel.  If this is the new normal, then I may need to undergo the Chiari surgery to increase my energy level.  

I think I am feeling a pain in my neck which might lead to arm numbness.

The weight of a laundry basket...

When first discussing the recovery of the Chiari surgery with the nurse, she was telling us that after the surgery Joel could fix light easy meals but needed to stay away from housework such as vacuuming and laundry.  Light dusting as on the ok list but we only dust twice a year and his surgery didn't fall during one of those times.  The doctors recommend that after surgery people seriously limit their lifting.  When necessary the weight limit for lifting is 5 pounds.  After a month they could start doing more activity and increase the weight limit 5 pounds per week.

Yesterday marked the one month or four week anniversary of Joel's surgery.  Do you know what that means?  Joel can start lifting again!!!  His weight limit can go up 5 pounds.  Today begins the week he can lift 10 pounds.  Now, 5 pounds is about a gallon of milk.  This is a fairly easy comparison.  Ten pounds, is a little harder so there is room for subjective interpretation bearing there is no scale around.

So as Joel and I were discussing his increased ability today his inference was that a load of laundry weighs more that 10 pounds.  Tonight he was corrected.  One of our full laundry baskets weighs 8.4 pounds.  I think laundry is a great place for Joel to try out his new weight limit!!

The call to change....

After trying to limit my readers to people I know, I decided that it wasn't worth the headache.  I am a public blogger once again...enjoy!

Warning: This will make you gag....

When Joel and I first met, one of thing that attracted me to him was his sense of humor.  He loved to laugh and in time, he has learned to laugh when he is at the butt of my jokes as well.  Since he started having symptoms several years ago, he has suppressed his laughter or stayed away from things and people that might be funny for fear of having his head feel like it might explode.   I did not understand the extent of this pain until this weekend when I again was able to watch Joel laugh hysterically without holding back.  Now, he has been laughing in the last few years but nothing like the uncontrollable laughter he participated in on Friday night.  It was awesome!! 

Recently, I read another person's blog about the positive affects of laughter and how important it is for our overall health.  Do you know four year olds on average laugh 300 times per day and adults laugh as few as 15?  Amazing. 

Our goal: Laugh more!

Rain, rain go away...

On a typical day, blogging happens at night. Today we are experiencing our second day of rain in a row so blogging seems like a natural choice.

The second day of solid rain causes us to change our activities. I have heard a quote which is stated something like "Boredom is the precur to creativity." I tried to look up who said it and I couldn't find it through "google." When I heard that for the first time I was struck by how true it is. When my kids have a long weekend or a vacation like Christmas or Spring Break, the first day is wonderful, the second and third days are a war, and then they get into REAL playing with forts and pretend characters. By the time they are going back to school, I don't want to see them go.

So today, we are being called to turn things upside-down. We are playing baseball with Candyland people. We are putting the fish in instead of "fishing" them out in "Let's go Fishing."

Rainy days cause us to think about typical games in a whole new way. There is no knowing what we will come up with next. I am thinking nap time then maybe breakfast for dinner.

One of those nights....

Tonight has not gone well.  AHHHHHHHHH!!!! How come some nights go so well and other's feel like our roof is about to blow off.

Nevermind, I figured it out.  It rained ALL day.  My kids didn't get to see the sun or play in the grass or ride bikes today.  How do people in Alaska do it when it is dark and cold all day long?  I would have to invest in an indoor sports arena which was decked out with soccer goals, a pitching machine, basketball hoops, and giant gerbil wheels.  

Joel is doing better little by little. Today was a relatively tiresome day where he didn't feel like doing very much of anything.  However, his mushy head is gone which is a really good sign.

Elijah looks at Joel's head everyday and tells him "Daddy your head is all better. Want to play catch?"  To which Joel has to say "no."  The next two months are going to be long ones for a four year old ready to play baseball with his dad every chance he gets.

On the plus side, I am getting better at kick ball which is now the game of choice since it has been decided by the kids that I can't pitch a baseball.  On Mother's day, we played my sister-in-law, Elijah (4), and I versuses Jonah (8) and my nephew (6).  We won after two innings (I couldn't gone on). 11-6. I am putting that in my blog for proof.  I am not sure I will every beat Jonah again.  He is already better than I am.

Here's hoping the sun comes out tomorrow!!

The other of the bed...

On our wedding night Joel and I made a sacrifice.  Joel gave up his side of the bed and I gave up my side of the bed.  In other words, because we were in the midst of nearly disgustingly happy love, I decided to change sides of the bed because I thought the right side was his and he gave up the left side for me.  (Neither of us talked about it because we thought we were being nice and it wasn't a big deal.)  It didn't come out for months what we had done for each other.  As I have heard recently, the difference between a wonderfully cute quirk of a spouse and a really annoying issue is about 6 months.  This was true of this issue with our sides of the bed.

Now in my opinion, in our marriage when one of us does something the other doesn't notice we like to point it out for recognition. For example, "did you see I took out the garbage?" "doesn't the room look nice, I vacuumed?" and "doesn't Jonah's hair look good, we got his hair cut?"  

So after being married for a year, the phrase "well I gave up my side of the bed for you" crept into a conversation and the truth of our sacrifices came out.  However, neither of us wanted to let go of our martyrhood to switch sides.  Truth be told, we had become comfortable with the side we were on and didn't want to change.

Well, when Joel had his surgery we decided to try switching sides for multiple reasons: air flow in the room, closer to the computer and tv, etc.  It was horrible!!  I don't think I slept at all the first night.  I kept rolling into Joel when I thought I was rolling to the edge and at one point I had to get out of bed for the kids and ended up hitting the wall because I didn't know where I was (in the middle of the night getting up with the kids is pretty close to sleep walking).

It took three days before we switched back.  Marriage is about sacrifice and knowing yourself well enough to admit you are wrong.

If I were rich...

Provided that I had money to burn, I would gladly spend money to install video cameras in our bathroom.  Or maybe a key pad on the bathroom door where each kid has their own code so I know who is in there when.  I want evidence of who is spreading urine and tooth paste EVERYWHERE!! I watch them and see nothing.  Then I leave the room and come back to urine on the toilet seat and toothpaste on the floor.  What in the heck goes on while I am in the other room?  I am befuddled!

There I had to get that off my chest.  Joel didn't think that last statement was funny.  Maybe it is him!!!

So, Joel is doing really well.  He definitely reaches his limit on how much activity is too much but is doing a really good job at listening to his body and resting when he needs it.

We did go back to the doctor last Friday and we are still watching his head for any change in swelling or mushiness but all seems to be well.  

A little test...

Tonight we are trying a little experiment. We are trying to find out how long it will take for the kids to put themselves in bed. So far it is 8:04pm and I have 3 naked kids who are bouncing off the walls. At this rate they are going to be awake until 11pm.

About 10 months ago I realized that a 7:45pm bedtime was not determine by how tired the kids were. It is determine by the time at which I am done.

Now it is 8:26 and I broke before they did. I couldn't take it any more, I had to put them in bed. Now I am going to find some chocolate and do the dishes. Then "Glee."

Yes, "Glee" is not as quality as "Modern Family," and yes, sometimes I just need some mindless time. Try it if you need some entertaining music in your life.

Mushy head

Joel had kind of a rough day yesterday with a lot of head pain and feeling yucky overall.  I know those are kid-words but when I spend all day with kids, "yucky" is really a great word to describe how he looked and felt.

Today, his top incision is feeling mushy like he has fluid collecting under the skin.  Technical term: "Water balloon head." We called the Chiari care center and went for a 15 minute visit this afternoon.  They put him on pre-emeptive antibiotics and he has another appointment on Friday at 9:30am.  The doctor is happy that it isn't his main incision and thinks he could have popped an internal stitch where they extracted his skin graft.  We will let you know as this story progresses.

I was just asked by Joel "Are you making the post funny?"  He doesn't realize that it is a work in progress. Funny takes time and pepsi.  I am trying to moderate my caffeine intake so I might be making a run to Chick-fil-a for the new banana-vanilla wafer shake.  I bet I can achieve funny on sugar as well.  We will have to have a blind reading test.  I will post two different posting on two different nights, have you vote, and then reveal which substance, Pepsi or shake, I am on.

Now Joel is trying to distract me.  I can't achieve funny in this harsh circumstances.

Joel update...

I know my posts have taken a turn toward myself instead of Joel so here is the update.

Joel is doing amazingly well.  In fact, he has had a few outing and people are shocked to see him up and around.

So, your thoughts and prayers are working!!! Thank you!!!! We have been very blessed with a fairly easy recovery so far and we couldn't done it without the help!!

Help please?

Well it has been 11 days, 12 hours, and 34 minutes since Joel's surgery started and it is time to come clean with my addictions:

- Pepsi: I am grumpy without, funny with. I am afraid this may become the substance that sustains our marriage. I am planning to start drinking caffeine-free to ween myself.

- Two Iphones: After "manning" two iphones for four days, I now look longingly at Joel's phone as he uses his.  I could get so much more done with two!

- Sleeping by myself: I only loved this for one night.  I sleep much better with him laying beside me. (blah!)

- Other people's cooking: I am not sure if people are pulling out all their "good" stuff for us, but I have gained 5 pounds because I can't get enough!!

- Blogging: I am sure you understand this if you have been reading my 36 other mindlessly idiotic postings.

- Well-rested-Joel: He is funny, fun to be with, and most of the time in a good mood.  Plus he can't drive so he is always around for my entertainment.

- Chocolate: Do you know they put all the Easter candy on clearance after Easter? Bad news!!!  Maybe another reason I have gained 5 pounds. Have you ever noticed, eating chocolate is much faster than working out?

Ok, I have come clean.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?

Now for Joel's new addictions:

- Watching weird shows on Netflix (Twin Peaks, Pushing Daisies, The Pixar Story, National Geographic special on death and when do we really die): He is watching all those shows that he has always wanted to watch but never had time.

- Napping: VERY GOOD FOR HEALING!!!

- My driving: He loves riding in the car and giving me advice. "turn here," "go that way," etc.  He is addiction, my nightmare.

- Strawberry Special K: Joel loves this cereal and Jonah and Elijah keep finishing it before he gets out of bed.  We are stopping at Costco tomorrow.  Costco always helps with quantity issues.

- Denver Nuggets Basketball: this addiction was cut short by bad post season coaching.  Sorry George Karl, it had to be said.

Please let us know if you have any advice on how to kick our "new" bad habits.

The staples have been removed!

I am not sure what I was expecting but the nurse literally used a small staple remover and within three minutes had all 26 staple extracted. Joel and I decided against the keepsake ziploc bag with little bow and had her throw the staples in the trash.  He is feeling so much better.  He was at the point that the staples were causing more pain then healing.

Tonight Joel was out on the baseball field giving Jonah verbal, not physical, tips on hitting. 10 days ago he was laying on an operating table with his brain exposed. Amazing how our bodies heal!!!

Now the pain associated with his recovery will mostly be itching as the skin heals thoroughly. Internally, he is having very little pain and is just taking pain medicine when he is sleeping.

He has about 85% of his range of motion when he moves his head from side to side. He is still getting electric shocks down his neck with any quick movements and he feels most soreness when he looks down at his toes.  All in all, his recovery has been amazing.

We think he is about a week away from driving a car since he is off the narcotics but still hasn't gained 100% of his movement.

Staple removal is tomorrow...

Joel has become increasingly more annoyed with the "extra" metal on his head and tomorrow that will hopefully end.  His lower incision has become red because of discomfort specifically from movement and how he sleeps.  The upper incision looks fine and even has new hair growing throughout.  Kind of weird but a great sign of healing.

Ironically, he is more worried about how his hair looks than the scar.  This is fortunate because in another week, he will have another hair cut (he gets them about every other month). The hair problem should be fixed by the end of the month.   The scar will be mostly covered by his hair with only about an inch showing below his hair line.  Over time, there should be very little evidence that he ever had a Chiari Malformation.   Joel was worried about his secret brain surgery being uncovered by airport security and tried to make jokes concerning being "wanded" at the airport.  He was shut down quickly by the RN who claims titanium in the head doesn't make the security machine beep.  Oh well, I guess I will just have to let everyone know Joel has a thick scull in some other fun way.  Facebook, check! Blog, check! Twitter, check! Email, check! Text, check!  I am not sure there is anyone left to tell.

So he goes tomorrow for staple removal (he refused his father's offer to remove them with his staple remover) and goes to see Dr. Oro in mid-June for a complete brain scan and post operation appointment.

Things are moving smoothly and I think Josiah's tooth finally cut through today.  By tomorrow we will be a whole new family sans staple and tooth pain.

Double standard...

Have you ever noticed the extent with which each of us live in double standards? Ok, I will keep this personal because really I notice this about myself all the time. For example, I yell at my own kids but as soon as I see some else yelling at their kids, I shake my head.  Or, I watch someone speeding down the road and I wonder, where are the police when we need them. Yet, I don't think anything of it when I am late and speeding to get my kids, get to work, or going to an appointment.

I usually try to give these up-to-no-good strangers a story so I don't let them ruin my day.  Like for the person speeding I give the story she is on her way to pick up her child who is throwing up at school.  This makes my stress level go down and the stranger gets my prayers instead of my dirty look.

In the last week, my "made-up" back stories have turned more personal in nature.  For example, this morning while driving the kids to school, I was passed by a gentleman on a motorcycle in a place there is only one lane. I was going 38mph in a 35 and 200 yards ahead of us there was a long line of rush hour traffic (the same as everyday).   I caught myself saying "what in the heck is that guy doing?!!!!"  Then I told the kids, "That man must be in a really big hurry to help fix someone's brain."  Sick, I know but it works.  I felt much better and the kids did point out he was being safe because he was wearing a helmet.

You should try it.  You can even personalize your made up back stories to your own life.

The reason I really started thinking about this is because, I have a "double standard" with sick people.  I am a very grumpy sick person.  Whether it is a headache, the flu, or food poisoning I can be wonderful to everyone and take it out on Joel.   Specifically, I bite at him with curt phrases and curl up into my own pitiful world of self loathing and pain.  When I take care of sick Joel, my attitude has always been "you don't have to be mean, just because you are sick.  Buck up, you will be fine."

So needless to say, when Joel and I found out he was going to be having brain surgery, I was worried about my bedside manner.  Knowing that this was not a "buck-up" situation, I expected Joel to expel curt phrases and moan in intense pain while I held his hand, fed him yogurt, and kept track of his medicine.

Honestly, we day 8 in post-op and he has done anything but be mean.  He has been a wonderful patient besides the day he spent nauseous and night he spent in pain.  He is even off his pain meds and is very pleasant. I have been amazed.  Even while he was still in the hospital I was checking in with the nurses in case I needed to apologize for any rude behavior and the only time I even saw him a little upset was while talking about someone leaving the light on his room after they took out the trash in the middle of the night.  He didn't even display a whole lot of frustration at the nurse who was slow to put saline solution in his IV after she had just injected something that was burning his vein.

So, what I have learned? I need to work on my behavior when I am sick.

It has been a week since surgery...

Joel has been up and around more than I would have liked today.  One of the disadvantages to working for yourself  is having a hard time leaving your business in someone else's hands even if only for a few days.  Because he wants to get back into the work mode, he also wants to stop taking his high intensity pain meds.  I have mixed feeling about this.  Obviously, having him in the most lucid state is my preference.  However, the meds also make him sleepy forcing him to rest.  He plans on starting to take Ibuprofen in the morning and I will be watching him closely, counting the hours he is sleeping.   He has hit that crucial period were he feels well enough to be up and around but he still needs to be resting.

So it is time for the great benefits of brain surgery:

1. The food is amazing!!! I am not sure I am ever going to be able to go back to my own cooking.  My sister-in-law very generously organized meal preparation for the weeks following Joel's surgery.  At first, I was going to turn it down but I am so glad I didn't.  I can't even begin to express how thankful I am or count the benefits this service has provided!!!

Plus, I now know my own cooking sucks!! No other word describes it.  The kids love everything! Most of the time they need to be bribed by dessert to eat my cooking. No wonder.  They must have learned from their friends what other families are eating and my kids are really just taking a stand against my food meritocracy.  

2. Joel's creating minimal laundry.  Two months ago on an average day he would wear racquetball clothes, work clothes, and after work clothes.  Now, he has been wearing one outfit of a t-shirt and shorts a day.

3. I get to make all the decisions.  Yes, for those who don't know me well, I am kind of a control freak. Most of the time I talk to Joel about things (or at least make him think he is making some decisions) but right now, I get to decide everything: when we eat, when the kids go to school, if they takes bathes, etc.
Sometimes this can just make things run smoother when there is only one of us deciding.

4. All of his rest, is making his sense of humor shine. He hasn't become a musical savant (he tried playing the piano Iphone app the day after surgery, and he couldn't even play chopsticks) however, he is constantly cracking jokes.  Again, our family has suggested he stay on the narcotics and try out for a stand up comedy gig.

I will let you know as we discover other brain surgery benefits!

Movie Update:

"The King's Speech:" LOVED IT!!  Now I am looking for more information about King George VI.  Trivia: Did you know Kenyon Martin of the Denver Nuggets is a board member and active spokesman of the American Institute of Stuttering.

"How Do You Know:" Deserved the rotten tomato award.  Two hours of my life I can't get back.  I am no longer allowed to choose the movies we get from redbox.

Crashed

It finally happened and I am not even saying it figuratively, we crashed.  Today was the day saved for getting things done and I took a three hour nap, Josiah slept for three and a half hours, Elijah slept for two, and Caeli slept for one and a half.   I am not sure if it was because I have had at the most 4 hours of continuous sleep in the past week or if it was because of all the chocolate we ate yesterday but either way, we were down for the count.  Yes, today was a much needed day of rest and we will be back on top tomorrow.  Watch out world...The Morin's are back.

Joel is doing really well.  We are still monitoring his vitals (eating, sleeping, pooping, pain) but overall everyday he is a little more himself.   He has even been making some business calls to check in with clients. Don't worry, I am prepared to confiscate his phone if needed.  He is starting to stress about work so I know he must be feeling better.

He has also been trying to watch what he say and does because he claimed earlier today that all his is to me is a blog posting.  Anything to motivate him to be on his best behavior.  I will let you know if he makes any slips.

Caeli asked today when Daddy was getting his staples out.  We are schedule for staple removal on Friday morning.  She started jumping up and down.  I was a little confused.  She said she was excited to wrestle and hug daddy again.  For her these next two months of recovery are going to feel like the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Obviously, I need to put my knee pads on and get down on the floor to play "daddy."  I knew that dinner, laundry, trips to school, sports practices, etc were going to be on me, but replacing "daddy" takes more than just doing things for the kids.  I need to work on "daddy" play time too.